Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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