Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
