they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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