I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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