I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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