batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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