when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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