I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
