Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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