I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
