Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
