I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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