Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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