Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
