if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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