yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
