Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
