we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize