I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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