I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
