I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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