someone get that fucking seahorse.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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