Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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