I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
