I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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