he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
