no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
