will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize