Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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