so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
