if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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