i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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