I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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