Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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