He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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