my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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