i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
