I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
