Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
