we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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