Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
