I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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