I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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