i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
