I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
