I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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