the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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