i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
