this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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