He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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