Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
