The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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