I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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