Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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