New low: just hacked my moms facebook
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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