well I can't set my house on fire every night
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
