Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
