I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
