??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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