hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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