dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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