But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
